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Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Things That Make Sadness
The worst thing that can happen in my current daily routine is a bad episode of Maury Povich. It throws off the entire balance of my day. What distinguishes a good episode from a bad one? Good question non-existent person.
Bad episodes: Anything with the word 'exposed' in the title. They are always about 'shocking videos exposed', 'cheaters exposed' or some such nonsense. Always so bad. Basically, they get a dude from another show that does shocking video or catches cheaters, and have the dude do highlights from his show on the Maury Show. It's ridiculous. The studio audience gets clips from another show. I'd be mad.
Good episodes: Every talk show finds their niche. Maury's niche? Paternity tests. It's a home run every time. The humor on these shows is layered. Thickly layered humor.
1) the actions and the sh*t talking of the women accusing the men of being the father and the men denying it. Always deteriorates into a shouting match with one or both parties going over to the picture of the child/ren and arguing that there is/isn't a resemblance.
2) The reactions to the announcement of the test.
A) Despair. The extreme sadness of finding out that a complete deadbeat is not the father of the child/ren.
B) Jubilence followed by a kind of 'in your f*cking mouthpiece! You are the dad!' reaction
C) Hugging because the man who is there now is the real father (as opposed to the guy she cheated with)
3) The best is when a horrendous dude is actually the father. On an episode last week, a man that had fathered 22 children was accused of fathering 2 more. It turns out that 23 and 24 were also his. He was a little upset. The mother? Joyous because she was proven correct. Now that dude is the dad. That's her big win. Her moment in the son. Instead of a 'thank you Maury. I'm glad I've got closure', or a 'I just hope you'll live up to your responsibilities now'...we get a
booty shake dance, repeating of the words 'what! What! I done told you! What!'
Like the pic...I know it's hard to see. But she just found out that the man in question was the father of her child.
These are the episodes that make Maury great.
Kobe Bryant is demanding a trade based on organizational ineptitude. He's catching some flack for this. I am of 2 minds:
1) I hate Kobe Bryant. A selfish ego-centric punk that ran Shaq out of town to prove he could be 'the man' on a title team but before he ever set foot on an NBA court, he held the league hostage by declaring that he would never play for a 'non major market team'. He was drafted by Charlotte. People forget that he forced a trade to go to LA. A whiny punk b*tch if there ever was one.
2) I wish there was more of this. The dude wants to win (even though his reasons are selfish) and he's pissed that his idiot front office is wasting the best years of his career. He's in his prime and unguardable. He's carrying a horrendous group of older vets and high school kids not ready for prime time. I'd be pissed too.
That's all for now.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Alf
I'm not working right now. It means I am pathetic.com.
I just watched a sick episode of Alf. I'm trying to go back in my personal memory banks and I cannot think of a more underrated show. I won't bore you with all the trivia that I remember from the top of my head (his real name was Gordon Shumway from the planet Melmac. He played bouillabaseball. He crash landed in the Tanner's garage when he followed a 'HAM' radio signal. Willie, Kate, Lynn and Brian Tanner...and the cat Lucky. The nosy neighbors, the Ochmaneks, were always around...what were their names? ....hard to remember...oh, Trevor and Raquel and their son Jake. There's more but we'll let it go)
The Tanner's always had to worry about Alf being discovered by the government's alien task force. Constant running theme with the occasional cliffhanger episode that led to other feelings besides the standard late 80s sitcom. If I remember correctly, the final episode of the show had Alf actually being taken away by the government (what a novel concept...providing closure for a character) and it being a remarkably sad thing.
Another running theme that was funnier was the fact that Alf's favorite food is cats. He constantly tried to eat the Tanner's cat but the attempts were half-hearted because he loved the Tanners so much. I just got a little emotional...Alf was awesome.
The only role I've ever liked Ben Stiller in was a movie about the creator of Alf called Permanent Midnight. It's just based on the guy so it's not a documentary.
Anyway, sick show. Funny Danny salutes Alf. Peace out little guy.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
More Soprano thoughts
Kent had a nice comment on my last rant blog. I loved the show. I still do in fact. Not much better than watching some of the classic episodes. Last week I caught the episode where Big Pussy gets whacked. Still gave me chills.
In the words of Samuel L..."Well allow me to retort!"
Kent makes some assertions, but that's what they are: assertions. They are friends with hypothesis, theory, and conjecture.
The feud with NY is over...for now. It was over when Johnny Sac and Tony had that meeting and the FBI came for Johnny Sac. But new stuff developed. That's the point. It's the lifestyle. Always something. Maybe it is over for good. Maybe it isn't. No one knows because we don't see.
AJ isn't depressed for 9 minutes of a show. He wasn't depressed when he was playing football 3 seasons ago...then he collapsed.
You say it yourself, 'Meadow is on track'. That's my point in a nutshell. We don't know where those tracks go. Anyone's guess. No one is right because we'll never see it unless there is a movie.
I didn't necessarily need Tony to die. It's one example. Closure would have been as simple as Meadow getting to sit down. The guy from the bathroom leaving. Anything! All we have are assumptions.
Now, that said, I thought this episode and the last one were 2 of the best in the history of the show and tv. I cannot remember feeling more tense about anything ever. Amazing. I enjoyed it too. I'm not a snob...well not about this anyway.
It's just that the ending isn't an ending. It's a discontinuation, a lack of coverage, a ceasing of informing. It's not fair. It's smug and it's a genuine lack of respect for the fans. I really believe this.
This show could have been made into another arrested development. No one had to watch it. We did. We invested so much. Chase took the reigns for the finale and he jerked us around as he's laughing about how smart he is. Symbols everywhere.
Was the cat Chrissy? Was it Big Pussy? Was it Adriana? Was it just a cat?
It's all just us schleps out here guessing and trying to sound smart at parties and over email. I have my own interpretation. My friends have theirs too. That's the point. That inherently means there is no closure.
You can argue that Tony gets whacked, you can argue that he doesn't. The fact that there is a debate is why I'm pissed. That means there was no closure and that's what I wanted. I wanted finality, not the illusion of it. Everyone is on a track as you mentioned but if the show taught us anything, it's that you never know. They even go so far as to say as much. It's frustrating. I don't like the fact that the last taste in my mouth is that I have to wait for the Sopranos movie to see where all the characters that I have gotten to know end up.
Anyway, good points. I'm just pissed and can't see myself being unpissed for many moons.
In the words of Samuel L..."Well allow me to retort!"
Kent makes some assertions, but that's what they are: assertions. They are friends with hypothesis, theory, and conjecture.
The feud with NY is over...for now. It was over when Johnny Sac and Tony had that meeting and the FBI came for Johnny Sac. But new stuff developed. That's the point. It's the lifestyle. Always something. Maybe it is over for good. Maybe it isn't. No one knows because we don't see.
AJ isn't depressed for 9 minutes of a show. He wasn't depressed when he was playing football 3 seasons ago...then he collapsed.
You say it yourself, 'Meadow is on track'. That's my point in a nutshell. We don't know where those tracks go. Anyone's guess. No one is right because we'll never see it unless there is a movie.
I didn't necessarily need Tony to die. It's one example. Closure would have been as simple as Meadow getting to sit down. The guy from the bathroom leaving. Anything! All we have are assumptions.
Now, that said, I thought this episode and the last one were 2 of the best in the history of the show and tv. I cannot remember feeling more tense about anything ever. Amazing. I enjoyed it too. I'm not a snob...well not about this anyway.
It's just that the ending isn't an ending. It's a discontinuation, a lack of coverage, a ceasing of informing. It's not fair. It's smug and it's a genuine lack of respect for the fans. I really believe this.
This show could have been made into another arrested development. No one had to watch it. We did. We invested so much. Chase took the reigns for the finale and he jerked us around as he's laughing about how smart he is. Symbols everywhere.
Was the cat Chrissy? Was it Big Pussy? Was it Adriana? Was it just a cat?
It's all just us schleps out here guessing and trying to sound smart at parties and over email. I have my own interpretation. My friends have theirs too. That's the point. That inherently means there is no closure.
You can argue that Tony gets whacked, you can argue that he doesn't. The fact that there is a debate is why I'm pissed. That means there was no closure and that's what I wanted. I wanted finality, not the illusion of it. Everyone is on a track as you mentioned but if the show taught us anything, it's that you never know. They even go so far as to say as much. It's frustrating. I don't like the fact that the last taste in my mouth is that I have to wait for the Sopranos movie to see where all the characters that I have gotten to know end up.
Anyway, good points. I'm just pissed and can't see myself being unpissed for many moons.
F*ck David Chase
Below is a copy of the email I wrote to my friends about the Sopranos finale. I wanted to ponder it for a while before I posted because I wanted to make sure I was sure how I felt. I will preface by saying, I've watched all 86. I love the show and have been with it every step of the way. Giddyup:
I know there was some confusion by some folks as to who 'Carlo' was. The guy that flipped and went to the FBI.
http://www.imdb.com/gallery/hh/0621597/HH/0621597/ArthurHeadshotOne.jpg.html?path=pgallery&path_key=Nascarella,%20Arthur%20J .
that's the guy. He was one of Tony's captains. Weird that he wasn't developed like some of the other guys.
Also, I have been thinking about this for the last few days. Here is what I am going with:
F*ck David Chase. All these critics and fans gabbing on about how they 'got it' reminds me of people looking at a fleck of paint on a canvas and talking about the 'angst of the artist' and how it 'challenges social constraints through its understated aggression'. It's bullsh*t. Give me some f*cking closure man. Maybe i'm simple or something but this symbolic lapdance is just Chase saying to everyone: 'you don't get how smart I am'.
I spent the last 40 minutes poking around online and found some info.
That guy at the bar was indeed Phil Leotardo's nephew. Beyond that, the 2 black guys that came in and looked at the buffet were the same guys that robbed Tony and shot at him in Season 2 or 3, the boys at the diner were also at the train store when Bobby Bacala gets capped, the trucker was the brother of a truck driver that Chrissy killed in Season 2 that identified the body after the crime. What's the point? It's that no one knows what any of this means.
The Godfather references were not subtle. I think it was just another way of teasing us. You show us all this stuff, hint at all these things: "You never know when it's going to come" and then let everyone guess while you are either sitting there smug because you're so clever or biding your time until you can do the movie and make more $. It pisses me off for several reasons:
1) the reactions of all those knuckle-f*ckers who are like: 'I get it. Bravo David Chase!'
2) The fact that Chase has always said he knew exactly how this show would end. Really? That's it? Your ending, that you have always envisioned is no ending at all and a symbolic orgy of subtle references with a black screen that made 1/2 of america think its cable went out?
3) The endings of things should provide closure. Otherwise, they are not endings...they are ceasings or stoppings, not endings. Cheers ended with: 'Sorry, the bar's closed'. That's an ending. The Cosby show ended with all the kids out of the house, Theo graduating college, and Cliff and Claire dancing together. Ending. Growing Pains ended with Maggie getting a tight reporting job in Washington, they move out of the house. Ending. Want more? Mr. Belvedere ended with Mr. Belvedere leaving... you get it.
4) We invested so much in getting to know these characters. They were given too much depth. This is what made this show one of, if not the greatest program ever. That's why I think it's a cop out not to have a resolution of any sort. We deserve to know where they go from here. I refuse to accept that the 86 episodes I watched (yes, all 86) were nothing more than 86 separate 'day in the life of' these people and now my window is closed and I'm left to guess. I watched all the threads not get tied up, all the loose ends go unresolved, and all the non sequitor episodes with the promise that it would end. I defended all these episodes and decisions as part of what made the show so great; the plot points were no where near as important as what they told us about these characters. I feel cheated.
5) Bottom line, Tony should have finished the meal with his family, they should have all gone to their separate cars, Tony should have come out last with a bit of a smile on his face and gotten capped in the back of the head. Then the screen goes black. We only see the gun, but not the shooter. Fulfilling the promise that you never know and it can be over in an instant.
Everyone has high expectations for a series finale, especially a popular one. I think it's a delicate balance between your own vision and giving the fans some satisfaction. The scales were not balanced.
I know there was some confusion by some folks as to who 'Carlo' was. The guy that flipped and went to the FBI.
http://www.imdb.com/gallery/hh
that's the guy. He was one of Tony's captains. Weird that he wasn't developed like some of the other guys.
Also, I have been thinking about this for the last few days. Here is what I am going with:
F*ck David Chase. All these critics and fans gabbing on about how they 'got it' reminds me of people looking at a fleck of paint on a canvas and talking about the 'angst of the artist' and how it 'challenges social constraints through its understated aggression'. It's bullsh*t. Give me some f*cking closure man. Maybe i'm simple or something but this symbolic lapdance is just Chase saying to everyone: 'you don't get how smart I am'.
I spent the last 40 minutes poking around online and found some info.
That guy at the bar was indeed Phil Leotardo's nephew. Beyond that, the 2 black guys that came in and looked at the buffet were the same guys that robbed Tony and shot at him in Season 2 or 3, the boys at the diner were also at the train store when Bobby Bacala gets capped, the trucker was the brother of a truck driver that Chrissy killed in Season 2 that identified the body after the crime. What's the point? It's that no one knows what any of this means.
The Godfather references were not subtle. I think it was just another way of teasing us. You show us all this stuff, hint at all these things: "You never know when it's going to come" and then let everyone guess while you are either sitting there smug because you're so clever or biding your time until you can do the movie and make more $. It pisses me off for several reasons:
1) the reactions of all those knuckle-f*ckers who are like: 'I get it. Bravo David Chase!'
2) The fact that Chase has always said he knew exactly how this show would end. Really? That's it? Your ending, that you have always envisioned is no ending at all and a symbolic orgy of subtle references with a black screen that made 1/2 of america think its cable went out?
3) The endings of things should provide closure. Otherwise, they are not endings...they are ceasings or stoppings, not endings. Cheers ended with: 'Sorry, the bar's closed'. That's an ending. The Cosby show ended with all the kids out of the house, Theo graduating college, and Cliff and Claire dancing together. Ending. Growing Pains ended with Maggie getting a tight reporting job in Washington, they move out of the house. Ending. Want more? Mr. Belvedere ended with Mr. Belvedere leaving... you get it.
4) We invested so much in getting to know these characters. They were given too much depth. This is what made this show one of, if not the greatest program ever. That's why I think it's a cop out not to have a resolution of any sort. We deserve to know where they go from here. I refuse to accept that the 86 episodes I watched (yes, all 86) were nothing more than 86 separate 'day in the life of' these people and now my window is closed and I'm left to guess. I watched all the threads not get tied up, all the loose ends go unresolved, and all the non sequitor episodes with the promise that it would end. I defended all these episodes and decisions as part of what made the show so great; the plot points were no where near as important as what they told us about these characters. I feel cheated.
5) Bottom line, Tony should have finished the meal with his family, they should have all gone to their separate cars, Tony should have come out last with a bit of a smile on his face and gotten capped in the back of the head. Then the screen goes black. We only see the gun, but not the shooter. Fulfilling the promise that you never know and it can be over in an instant.
Everyone has high expectations for a series finale, especially a popular one. I think it's a delicate balance between your own vision and giving the fans some satisfaction. The scales were not balanced.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Indy 500
Whatup peoples?
Internets have been hard to come by. I'm in Indianapolis for the last night of a week of shows here. I've been at Morty's Comedy Joint in Indy. Great club, superbly run, and a lot of fun. They do an awesome job of taking care of the comics and run a club the right way. Really cool an encouraging that clubs like this are out there. Shows have all been a lot of fun.
I was on the Bob and Tom radio show on Friday morning. Basically, these guys dominant every 'non major' market around the country. In other words, they are the morning show everywhere that is not New York, DC, Chicago, LA, Tampa, Dallas, Philly, Seattle, San Fran and so forth. Really kickass opportunity for this guy and it was a lot of fun. I was in studio for close to 2 hours. Those guys are awesome. They are funny on their own and they let the comics they have be funny. I hope to get some clips from the show and I'll put them on my 'website' on the 'internet'.
Speaking of my website, I met with internet.org guru Andy Lopresto this past week and we did some work on my site. It's looking good and will soon complete my dominance to the top of internetdom.
Most people already know this, but here is the official announcement...although no one really cares but whatever, screw it.
I am moving to New York at the end of this month. I will be living with my special lady friend and my boy, filthy Hutto, in an apartment on the lower east side of Manhattan. The neighborhood is the tightness. I am going to miss DC a ton and I'll miss all my peeps here even more. You all have a futon to snuggle upon anytime in the windy candy apple.
Internets have been hard to come by. I'm in Indianapolis for the last night of a week of shows here. I've been at Morty's Comedy Joint in Indy. Great club, superbly run, and a lot of fun. They do an awesome job of taking care of the comics and run a club the right way. Really cool an encouraging that clubs like this are out there. Shows have all been a lot of fun.
I was on the Bob and Tom radio show on Friday morning. Basically, these guys dominant every 'non major' market around the country. In other words, they are the morning show everywhere that is not New York, DC, Chicago, LA, Tampa, Dallas, Philly, Seattle, San Fran and so forth. Really kickass opportunity for this guy and it was a lot of fun. I was in studio for close to 2 hours. Those guys are awesome. They are funny on their own and they let the comics they have be funny. I hope to get some clips from the show and I'll put them on my 'website' on the 'internet'.
Speaking of my website, I met with internet.org guru Andy Lopresto this past week and we did some work on my site. It's looking good and will soon complete my dominance to the top of internetdom.
Most people already know this, but here is the official announcement...although no one really cares but whatever, screw it.
I am moving to New York at the end of this month. I will be living with my special lady friend and my boy, filthy Hutto, in an apartment on the lower east side of Manhattan. The neighborhood is the tightness. I am going to miss DC a ton and I'll miss all my peeps here even more. You all have a futon to snuggle upon anytime in the windy candy apple.
Friday, June 01, 2007
Dave Attell
Dave Attell stopped by the Improv last night. He did 50 minutes after headliner DC Benny. The crowd was pretty tired by the end of it but there is no denying how good Dave Attell is. Really good. He is so crisp and he gets away with so much because of how good he is. Every other word is funny. Incredible comic.
Everyone is talking about Lebron James dropping 48 points last night. They are talking as though this is his ascension into some uber pantheon and he finally earned all the superlatives that have been bestowed upon him. He had a great game. I think that's where it needs to stop. Vince Carter dropped 50 in a playoff game a few years ago and Allen Iverson has scored more than 50 on a few occasions...I don't remember either of them being anointed the 'king' or having arrived as the 2nd coming of MJ (Carter received some of it because of the UNC similiarity the first couple years of his career but not because he dropped 50 in a game 3 against the 76ers). We need to get over ourselves and calm down a little bit.
I don't know that there are any more talented players in the league or even in the history of the league. The dude cruises to 26 7 and 7 every night. Maybe he's holding out for if/when he gets to play with decent players or for when he leaves Cleveland to play with decent players. Who knows. Maybe he's on cruise control so he can have a longer career. I've heard this a few times. Think about MJ. He literally killed himself to win. Going against the pistons/knicks/pacers etc. Maybe MJ lost a couple seasons. At any rate, Lebron is just a talented player who had a big game 5. Let's relax.
Everyone is talking about Lebron James dropping 48 points last night. They are talking as though this is his ascension into some uber pantheon and he finally earned all the superlatives that have been bestowed upon him. He had a great game. I think that's where it needs to stop. Vince Carter dropped 50 in a playoff game a few years ago and Allen Iverson has scored more than 50 on a few occasions...I don't remember either of them being anointed the 'king' or having arrived as the 2nd coming of MJ (Carter received some of it because of the UNC similiarity the first couple years of his career but not because he dropped 50 in a game 3 against the 76ers). We need to get over ourselves and calm down a little bit.
I don't know that there are any more talented players in the league or even in the history of the league. The dude cruises to 26 7 and 7 every night. Maybe he's holding out for if/when he gets to play with decent players or for when he leaves Cleveland to play with decent players. Who knows. Maybe he's on cruise control so he can have a longer career. I've heard this a few times. Think about MJ. He literally killed himself to win. Going against the pistons/knicks/pacers etc. Maybe MJ lost a couple seasons. At any rate, Lebron is just a talented player who had a big game 5. Let's relax.
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