Welcome Internet.com Traveler

Below you will find the following elements: mirth, joy, humor, mockery, insinuation, sport, politics, comedy, rants, awkwardness, opinions, communacable disease, self-promotion, and lingo. Enjoy.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Working...

on the New York Vlog. Hope to have it done today and I'll put it on the interwebs. I'm rolling to Frederick, MD for the Mid Atlantic Comedy Smorgasboard thingy. Then, Monday morning, a bunch of us are headed to Detroit for the Detroit Comedy Idol competition. We've already discussed how sucky I am at contests. I understand why contests exist but I don't like them in comedy. Judging art is silly. Note: if I won contests, I would say that you need them and that they are important.

Regardless, it should be a fun trip to Detroit. I have never been there and will be joined by some good peeps: Jon Mumma, Justin Schlegel, Mike Way, and Jason Weems will all be there repping it to the death.

Holler

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Fun

I have been the mayor of lazytown with my blogs. My fault not yours. But, since I admit it, you can't be mad at me. I just thought of how ridiculous that is. That's what's wrong with western civ. If you admit to it, you're somehow not accountable. I'm not good at generalizing. See what I did there?

I had a super time on 98 rock last Thursday. I was told that it was the best show ever by everyone. They are really cool over there which increases levels of goodness and humors.

Larry Poon and Justin Schlegel were in NYC last night. They had a lovely stir-fry of 'holy sh*t, is this really what it's like?' Good to see both of them and I was fortunate enough to do a quick bit with Larry. What a generous guy. He provided the pants.

I've also been really lazy about my moving to New York vlog. I don't know what to say about it other than I don't do anything during the day and I have no excuse.

A few DC guys are headed to Detroit early next week for the Detroit Comedy Idol contest. I suck at contests. I don't do well in them and haven't figured out the trick. Basically, what typically happens is I have a good set. Not great but good. Everyone seems to agree I should be considered. Then I am not considered and far away from finishing near the top. I look forward to the occasion anyway as it should be a fun road trip. I've never been to Detroit. I'm hoping to enter into one of the freestyle rap events that occur on every corner like in 8 mile.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

98 Rock

Dudes and chicks,

I'm going to be on 98 Rock this Thursday morning. I'll be joining Joe Robinson in studio for the morning show. I'm looking forward to it. You can listen online if that is your thing. Just go to www.98online.com. Then click on the listen live link at the top of the home page. They also have a webcam feature so you can see stuff if you like to see stuff.

Tell your friends.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Update

I had a great time last night in Hoboken. I never thought I would say that at any point in my life.

Thanks to JL for having me on the show. I had one of my favorite moments as a comic last night when I thought of a punch for an older joke that had been all but retired. It's now back and people are excited.

Also, has anyone done a bit about how dumb cover bands are when you think about it? And how this can't happen in any other field? No one is going to see a 'cover artist' paint a Rembrandt...or Phil doing Larry's incredible 'Fall Quarterly '03 presentation'. I thought of it last night but had the feeling in the back of my head that sounded like this: 'YOU ARE A HACK! YOU ARE A HACK!'

I am. I'm getting more comfortable with it everyday. Hacks make it people. Integrity and intelligence will get you a ticket to see BET Comic View: "Y'all know when you be smokin' that weed, you ain't tryin' to do nothin'. Worst thing that happens is you eat yo' mama' pot roast!'

I'm starting to feel my way around up here in NYC. My neighborhood is the tightness. I'm close to so much. Also, walking is a way of life up here. This is not good for me in the summer time. I have a 94% SP (Sweat Percentage) and typically enter my apartment pouring in sweat. This will abade as the heat dwindles but as of right now...the chafing people...you would not believe the chafing.

Working on a video blog. Should be coming soon.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Bal'mer Der hon

I had a blast in Baltimore last weekend. Thanks to the Factory, Mickey, and especially Joe Robinson. Here's what Joe did for me:

Got me the spot on the show, then a spot on the 98 Rock Morning show, another likely radio spot next week. Here's what I've been able to do for Joe:

Thanks Joe!

Speaking of the radio, I had a silly time doing the morning show with Mickey and Amelia. It's amazing how they are able to get up so early and be on right away. I had several periods where my mind wandered for minutes at a time and I was staring into space...note: this did not include the part of the show where women came in and showed their respective breasticles. Everyone there was really cool and I can't wait to come back. I'll be sure to let you know when that happens.

I walked around my neighborhood today. Astounding at how much their is so close to my place. I love it.

Last, and this should really be a whole blog, but did anyone get the memo on this? There was voting for the 7 wonders of the world. The problem with this is that most of the original 7 no longer exist. What are commonly thought of as the modern 7 (top of my head I could only think of: Stonehenge/Great Wall of China/Leaning Tower of Pisa/The Colosseum); most of them didn't want to participate in the voting. The new list doesn't feel as good to me. The real point is, I had no idea there was a vote. That's what Americans do well...well, I mean as long as they can see the wonder performing on tv and can text who they want via cellular device.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

TRANSFORMERS!!!!!

MIRTH. Holy Sh*t. Pure joy. Unparalleled happiness in my heart.

Monday, July 02, 2007

I'm In New York But I'm Not

I finished moving my stuff to my apartment in New York City. I'm not one of those fakers who's all: 'I'm in New York when I'm really not'. I live in Manhattan now. Weird for me to say that but it's true. I'm excited. I have no idea what the future is going to bring but I cannot wait to see. My apartment is not big as it is in New York city and the abodes there do not tend to run on the 'big' side. Still, it is reasonable and functional and integrated and user-friendly.

I finished the moving on Saturday with a trip to bed bath and beyond the glory. I no longer consider myself a man. The final moving act was the returning of the UHAUL truck. UHUAL, is the new DMV. I cannot even tell you with my words how awful it was. We were just returning a truck; as in: 'Here are the keys bruh'. We called the office on the phone several times, no one picked up. When we arrived, I counted 12 phones. Said phones were ringing constantly. No one answered them. There was 0 progress in any line at any time. Employees were consistently walking around and ignoring pleading and helpless customers who were waiting for vans/trucks that they had reserved. I don't know the laws of our land well enough but I have got to believe that something about that organization is illegal. If you reserve something, it should be reserved. You should not be sitting on the floor at a UHAUL at W 23rd street and 11th Ave at noon on a Saturday in a pool of your own upset feelings because you had been there since 9 and your wife has taken it upon herself to remind you every 32 seconds how much this sucks. I saw that.

The most amazing thing occurred when the manager stood up and shouted to everyone: "We don't have any vehicles at this time!" The anger....oh my word the anger. The thing is, we were the only people in the place who were bringing a vehicle to the table. You would think that we would be given royal treatment. False. We could have helped, if only slightly, by providing the single commodity to ease the situation. We were ignored. The DMV has nothing on UHAUL.

I'm back in DC right now which is weird. I was involved in the production of a new show from the good folks that brought you Buddy Jackson. We shot yesterday. It was fun and I think I was OK. I'm here all week doing various things. Once this week ends, I shall transport myself back up to New York City, where I now live.

I hope to see the people that I know soon. Holler