Forgetful Jones

This is me. I mean, it's not really me but it's a good depiction of me. This dude couldn't remember anything and it frustrated the sh*t out of everyone who watched. I have one of the most acute cases of ADD on record. They were supposed to take my picture to put it next to the definition of ADD in the dictionary but I forgot about the photo shoot and ate cookie dough and played Madden while listening to a playlist on my computer while talking on my cell phone while remembering the time that I threw up in a Dairy Queen and my mom didn't believe me when I said I was going to and then I did and had a smug sense of satisfaction when the puke hit the ground and I was all: 'I can lie as much as I want now because you thought I was crying wolf and wasn't so now I have impeccable credibility until you catch me intercepting the mail with my grades in it because I stopped reading the English book after the first night and I got my first D which is a big deal at a small private school where I had a flat top but couldn't get my hair cut often enough so I just had a puffy head and was awkward from age 9-25 because my nose was to big for my face and my head is oddly shaped which makes it hard for me to get a good haircut which I got once when my girlfriend in high school's mom paid for it to get taken at a fancy salon by a Latin woman who had terrible hair herself and how can someone who has terrible hair be an authority on how to cut your hair; shouldn't your own style be evidence enough that your opinion cannot be trusted like if you think Nascar is good, how can you be trusted to care for a child; like what if the kid comes home and is like, "Daddy, I don't know how to ask Chrystal out on a date because I'm nervous" and you're watching a race? You don't know what to do and no, Dale is not coming down to help you get through this so look at your son and say: 'I have wasted my life. I apologize to you. Now, its too late for me but you can do anything', and then the kid is inspired and he doesn't ask Chrystal out because she is going to live in that town forever and live in a small one floor house with the guy that gets her preggers first and he decides to dedicate himself to writing and he's good; like really good but not good enough to write books just screenplays and movie treatments so he does and then he runs into a car of a mafia guy one time and they force him to make a movie or die so he greenlights a sequel to a movie that should never be made and it flops and he's an outcast and it was all because I can't remember what I wanted to write about today when I opened blogger. Sh*t.