Things That Make Sadness

The worst thing that can happen in my current daily routine is a bad episode of Maury Povich. It throws off the entire balance of my day. What distinguishes a good episode from a bad one? Good question non-existent person.

Bad episodes: Anything with the word 'exposed' in the title. They are always about 'shocking videos exposed', 'cheaters exposed' or some such nonsense. Always so bad. Basically, they get a dude from another show that does shocking video or catches cheaters, and have the dude do highlights from his show on the Maury Show. It's ridiculous. The studio audience gets clips from another show. I'd be mad.

Good episodes: Every talk show finds their niche. Maury's niche? Paternity tests. It's a home run every time. The humor on these shows is layered. Thickly layered humor.

1) the actions and the sh*t talking of the women accusing the men of being the father and the men denying it. Always deteriorates into a shouting match with one or both parties going over to the picture of the child/ren and arguing that there is/isn't a resemblance.

2) The reactions to the announcement of the test.
A) Despair. The extreme sadness of finding out that a complete deadbeat is not the father of the child/ren.
B) Jubilence followed by a kind of 'in your f*cking mouthpiece! You are the dad!' reaction
C) Hugging because the man who is there now is the real father (as opposed to the guy she cheated with)

3) The best is when a horrendous dude is actually the father. On an episode last week, a man that had fathered 22 children was accused of fathering 2 more. It turns out that 23 and 24 were also his. He was a little upset. The mother? Joyous because she was proven correct. Now that dude is the dad. That's her big win. Her moment in the son. Instead of a 'thank you Maury. I'm glad I've got closure', or a 'I just hope you'll live up to your responsibilities now'...we get a
booty shake dance, repeating of the words 'what! What! I done told you! What!'

Like the pic...I know it's hard to see. But she just found out that the man in question was the father of her child.

These are the episodes that make Maury great.

Kobe Bryant is demanding a trade based on organizational ineptitude. He's catching some flack for this. I am of 2 minds:

1) I hate Kobe Bryant. A selfish ego-centric punk that ran Shaq out of town to prove he could be 'the man' on a title team but before he ever set foot on an NBA court, he held the league hostage by declaring that he would never play for a 'non major market team'. He was drafted by Charlotte. People forget that he forced a trade to go to LA. A whiny punk b*tch if there ever was one.

2) I wish there was more of this. The dude wants to win (even though his reasons are selfish) and he's pissed that his idiot front office is wasting the best years of his career. He's in his prime and unguardable. He's carrying a horrendous group of older vets and high school kids not ready for prime time. I'd be pissed too.

That's all for now.