You Ever Bomb?

Yes. I love that question from people who are amazed that I do standup comedy. They ask with this morbid curiosity as if to say: 'how in the world could you subject yourself to that?...a$$'

I bomb all the time. I bombed twice last night. It eats away at you at first. I used to get really upset. Like, don't talk to me I'm working on this with me, upset. Now, I just get annoyed and try to figure out why. You try to learn from it and then when you realized that your new jokes are awful, you get pissed off and start to wonder why you are trying to make a career out of something when you are so deficient at the process of becoming good. It's frustrating...like the fact that the original Saved By The Bell cast doesn't hang out anymore.

Andy Haynes started an open mic at The Reef in Adams Morgan. It's kind of a tough layout for comedy but it's a fun and intimate venue. This is a fancy way of saying that no one there last night was even a little interested in what I had to say at any point. The best part of my set was when a girl with a broken foot came in and sat down right on 'the stage' and one dude yelled: 'Get off the stage!' and it wasn't clear if he was talking to me or the little girl. Either way, it was awkward.

New jokes are like children. You can throw them away and create new ones.

I'm becoming giddy as the weekend of wondrous sport draws near. Let's go Saints.

Note: I hate eagles fans. I've railed against them in the past so no need to re-hash. There are 3 I would like to recognize at this time who are working to change tomorrow for the better:

1) Erin Jackson. She's a good person. It's not really her fault that she likes the eagles. You can tell, that if she were from another part of the country, she would have adopted a more reasonable team.

2) Chris White: A reasonable guy. He's smart. He plays that underdog angle. You can see by the title of his blog (ChrisWhiteSucks.com). Chris doesn't suck but he likes to beat himself up. He likes the sadness. He should root for philly teams because they make people sad.

3) Jon Mumma: Little scrappy Jon Mumma. He grew up outside of philly and dreamed of one day playing for his hometown team. He was a college football player who smacked people around and hit much bigger than his size. Basically what I'm saying is, Jon is Rocky Balboa, a fictional character from Philadelphia who has a monument to him which is a disgrace because the real boxing hero JOE FRAZIER is from philly.

Speaking of me being a complete pu$$y, at Topaz last night, I saw Congressman Heath Shuler talking to a girl I know. She is one of two identical twins so I never know if its the one I know really well or not. Knock knock. -Who's there? -Ummmm NAMETAGS. Anyway, I swore to myself, if I ever saw him, I'd scream at him for what he did to my beloved Washington Redksins; basically marking the beginning of 15 years of ineptitude since Joe Gibbs retired by being one of the worst pro quarterbacks in the history of the sport. What did I do? I walked by a few times, looked at the ground, and told a couple people he was there. I hate myself. I should root for philly. Zinger.

Have a nice weekend unless you live in Arizona because you're whole state is bigoted.