STUNNING

Fubu (maybe FUBU...no one knows). If you are a comic in the DC area, know a DC comic or go to any shows with any frequency, you will hear this story in the coming days. I was there. I still cannot believe it. Wow. There are no photos and I can't find a weblink for this guy. Giddyup

I went to Wiseacres in Tyson's Corner on Wednesday night. I haven't been there (outside from stopping by to pick up a tape from someone for 3 minutes) since January of 2005. I'm not going to put why in public space. Ask me if you care. Things have changed now. Andy Kline, Randolph T, and Rob Maher are running the open mic now. I'm totally on board with that. It's a good spot again. Still a lot of comics, but still. Good for those guys.

A bunch of my buddies are there. After a few of us had gone up, a particularly ATROCIOUS comic went up. His 5 minutes was, to be kind, embarrassing, crass, disgusting, and offensive. He wasted everyone's time. Throughout his racist and overtly graphic sexual items (I can't call it material), the comics in the room quietly groaned and exchanged glances as if to see: 'man is this really bad'. He had a clownish appearance.

Picture how you would mock someone that aspired to dress like Kevin Federline but was unable to afford to do so. He wore a hat sideways with a zip up sweatshirt that was open. He was very Vanilla Ice. Now, many of you might not know this but those of you that do will agree, this dude was an incredible bama. A tremendous bama of epic proportions. Sometimes, people can debate over whether or not a certain person is a bama. Fubu should be a starting point. What a terrible dude. The clothing line FUBU stands for 'For Us By Us'...Fubu at Wiseacres was a white guy from somewhere in VA. In comedy, the most bamafied thing you can do is to give yourself a stage name that isn't related to your own name. Unless Fubu's real name is 'Funderburke Burger', it's so awful I can't even think straight.

He referred to himself as a 'Wigger'. Allow me a quick moment here to editorialize. That wombo (word combo) is as offensive (if not more so) than the actual N-word. It should never be used under any circumstances. Instead, use 'Wack' (white black).

Back to the tale. The merciful end to his set was upon us. We were all grateful. We had no idea what was to come next.

Fubu: 'Before I get outta here, y'all ever heard of the floating penis bit? Aiiight...'

Fubu takes the microphone out of the stand. He unscrews the chord and takes it into the crowd; holding it aloft. (note, this is someone's bit. I can't remember who's but it's not original.) He goes a way into the crowd. The comics are all rolling their eyes and are looking around waiting for this to be over...then...HE LEFT. I don't mean he left the stage. I mean, HE LEFT THE CLUB. Gone.

He took the mic and left the club. For a second, everyone is stunned. Then a couple of guys ran out to the hallway to see if they could find him. Fubu was gone. Luckily, Andy and the club had another mic and the show went on, with everyone taking shots at Fubu. What a douche! I saw it and I still can't believe it happened.

I really hope that Wiseacres presses charges. I think there was a guy shooting video. Evidence b*tches. I want Fubu to pay for what he is, not for what he did. I mean wow.