This Is Why You Don't Teach Kids How to Dial 911...

24 continues to be the hotness. At first, I was a bit skeptical of the direction of having Progan (president Logan) be behind everything. He was playing possum which I'm told means that you have to be an indecisive, whiny little punk-a$$ b*tch so that no one will suspect you...

At first, I was not pleased with this but now, I am convinced there is someone else pulling the strings. I am certain that Progan was manipulated; maybe by Robocop, maybe someone else we haven't even figured out yet. Either way, Progan is a patsy as he's been the whole time.

The show last night was rocking untenable amounts of tightness. Moving right along. Tons of momentum. The hour was whipping by. Then...all the mo got sucked out with an awk speech from Mrs. Logan to Progan. She apologized and forgave him for everything that happened THAT DAY. Remember, this isn't weeks like it is for us, its a day.

RECAP: He sent her away to an insane asylum, ignored her, embarrassed her, let terrorists attack her, and ignored her again...in one day. Hey, give it a week to simmer. I'd be kinda pissed about that stuff. Even if I knew I was wrong, I'd be recapping that 'then the f*cking dudes shot a bazooka at my limo. Who has a bazooka? Even the GI Joe character named Bazooka didn't always carry one. They were awkward to transport!' incident for at least the rest of the day...

The dude pictured, Miles, aka 'gay robot voice', is one of my least favorite actors of my lifetime. That dude goes under the file of: 'OH, I totally have seen that dude before...he was so annoying in...whatchucallit?...ummmm...oh...crap...well, I've totally seen him before.'

Dude's name is Stephen Spinella. You've seen him in...every tv drama show ever. He dominates the role of 'unlikeable, snippy, awkwardly effeminate character who is painfully short-sighted'.

Pretty chill this week after the DC Comedy Festival. And yes, the festival was awesome. Ryan Conner, Rory Scovel, and I will be at the University of Maryland on Monday with comic genius Daniel Tosh. This is one of your last chances to see my boy Ryan in this area because he's moving up...to the east side...to the deluxe apartment...in the sky...next to a dude who goes in and out of a british accent and is always over-dressed around the apartment...