24: Resume Building; Showing My Marketable Skills

If you go on an interview, you will need to readily be able to list your marketable skills. I have very few; this is why I am a comedian. Jack Bauer has a gang...here are some:

-I can sneak onto planes
-I said I can sneak onto f*cking planes!
-I can incapacitate the air marshall and make it look like he's asleep
-I can make incredibly quick assessments and decisions weighing all the options
-I can make people do sh*t because they've read my file and know what I'm capable of
-I have a file file that says I'm capable of some ill sh*t
-If people aren't aware of said file, I'm able to quickly summarize the jist by saying that I have a file and since most of them don't have a file, they capitulate to my demands...
-I commandeer stuff and control situations fluidly
-Well versed in PDA technology
-Deals well with adversity
-Never needs to eat or go to the bathroom...

I will now make a sports analogy. On Sunday night, in the midst of an absurd 4th quarter in which Gilbert Arenas scored 20 points in a Wizards victory, Damon Jones checked in for Cleveland for the first time. Arenas, with an incredulous look on his face said to Jones:

"You ain't played the whole game, and you come in now?....You better be ready for me."

This summarizes the interaction between Jack Bauer and the co-pilot. I've been doing this all day and you're gonna come in now? Please. Give it to me or we all die. Smell you later. Spank you very much. Mint.

My favorite aspect of 24 is that dudes who are on 'the good side' act as impediments and are thus, bad guys by default. Of course, I refer to Miles, or Super Gay Robot Voice Man, who is just such a pain in the a$$. Someone needs to incapacitate him. This is one of those times where I wish peeps on the show could just explain things in a frank manor. Super Gay Robot Voice Man could then calm it down a notch and do the right things instead of being all lispy and salty in the way of progress...

24 is the tightness right now (the drug clouded emotional crapsandwiches with the 1st lady notwithstanding). President Logan, Progan, is on the warpath. He is doing an awesome job of making you want him to get taken out. Great job by the dude that plays Progan. I have enclosed a sensitive picture of Progan to make you all remember that this is an actor. Headshots make people look sensitive.