The Few...The Proud...The Honies

My girl Lil' Babs said the following:

"sorry to say, but guys really aren't that difficult to figure out in my opinion...what you say 97.5% of the time is what you really mean. No overanalyzation needed"

Wow. Mark it down. Gentle sirs and maddams, this young lady gets it. This quote has been placed into the jedi archives and filed under 'accurate'. My girl Lil' Babs has stumbled upon some of the greatest truths of western civilization. Giddyup.

-Many women out there are constantly frustrated by men. They say things like: "I just don't understand boys", "why do guys do that?", or "I just can't seem to find a good guy".

-Many women become irritated with men because of behavior they perceive as 'unpredictable'.

-Many women spend a lot of time trying to interpret signals and signs from men.

Case study: 3 honies that I think the world of were hanging out with Funny Danny evening last. All intelligent, all interesting, all table bringers (aka, they bring things to the table). You're resident humorist watched in awe as these 3 young ladies re-hashed the afternoons interactions between honey A and a dude. At first, I thought I was helping by offering advice and trying to close the book and allow said honey to move on and simply allow things to play out. This was false. I was not helping. I was hindering. For these ladies were bound and determined to discuss these things on their own.

Every possible aspect of every facet of every nuance was discussed in extraordinary detail. They went over everything in a level of detail worthy of CSI. 20-something girls should have to solve crimes for a few years. No one would get away with anything ever again. Why has no one suggested this? Anyway, the dude likes her. No conversation needed right? Wrong.

Basic fact rundown:

-Dude likes Girl A
-Girl A was a bit distressed as to how things played out during afternoon events
-Circumstances during said events were not ideal nor conducive to many things

This, in so many words, should be a win for Girl A. She had a good time with someone that clearly likes her. Advantage Girl A.

Here is the basic problem as I see it. Girls like these, as wondrous as they happen to be, are bound by a fatal flaw. They give guys too much credit. They attempt to ascribe female sensibilities on men in an attempt to analyze their behavior. This is a bad idea that will only lead to more confusion and frustration. Here's why:

-Dudes are very simple. Way more simple than girls can even imagine.

What this really means is that dudes are motivated by basic needs. The most important point here is that any erratic, unpredictable, or questionable behavior by a dude is the direct result of him attempting to do what he believes a girl will want him to do. Often times, men get it wrong. Other times, they get it right because it leaves the girl having discussions with her friends about it. Men are forced to balance the PITA (Pain In The A$$) Factor for interactions with girls; ex. how crazy is she? Will there be drama over every interaction? Is she going to make me jump through several hoops and play unbearably frustrating games where she seems interested then isn't?

There is a sliding scale with two factors constantly working. What the male wants (instant gratification and relations on one end, long term relationship on the other), and how much work he is willing to put in with a certain girl (text messages and booty calls on one end, meaningful interactions on the other). The complications come because women invent issues and over analyze things they have no control over.

Another sage honey had this to say:

"if you like someone and they seem into you too - go with it and see what happens - life really isn't that complicated"

Funny Danny fact:

99.9% of girls don't realize, especially those that always seem to have so much trouble 'figuring guys out', is that the only reasons guys have unpredictable behavior is because they are trying to anticipate what women want and this can lead to absolute chaos.

In conclusion, girls are crazy and dudes are simple. Great talk. See you out there.