And You Are?...

This past Saturday I did a benefit show for the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life event at George Mason University. Note: I am a good person.

The stage was outside by the track as teams of volunteers walked around (at least one person from each team has to walk around the track at all times for 24 hours). There were several people milling about in tents and other places. When the MC made the announcement that there would be a comedian in a few minutes, a cricket chirped and the force of the chirping sent tumbleweed in front of the stage. But sure enough, right before I went on, folks descended en mass to the area right in front of the stage. We had a blast as I did about an hour. Really fun, really cool crowd doing something awesome. The sound was pretty loud so the peeps on the track could hear me and I would get the thumbs up for a good joke as someone walked by. Mint.

They had a huge variety of acts throughout the day including; a singing group, a band, and a karate demonstration. I had to talk about the karate demonstration. I did my own tae kwan do joke which I like right now and then some improv about karate and how every 80s kid loved karate after the karate kid came out. We all wanted a hard a$$ sensei like the leader of the Cobra Kai dojo (I can't remember his name...oh yes I can it was John Kreese. You do not mess with my dazzling random knowledge b*tches. Also, for the record, the nastiest Cobra Kai was actually Dutch. The dude with the curly blonde hair that did the neck roll before he fought Daniel in the quarterfinals of the All Valley Karate Tournament. I think you could have switched him and Johnny (William Zabka) and been fine). It was pretty funny but there was a point when I was acting it out that I felt dangerously close to doing Rory Scovel's karate joke which is a filthy joke so, I awkwardly stopped when people were liking at and had no sort of transition...weird.

I'm very sensitive about that; that is, coming close to doing other people's jokes. I wasn't doing Rory's, but just the fact that I was talking about karate, felt dirty. I have this idea about an aspect of gay marriage that I think is funny but my boy Ryan Conner has a wondrous joke about it, so I almost feel like I can't do it even though it has nothing to do with what he talks about other than the general subject of gay marriage. Basically, I am very insecure and awkward.

I fear that the United States soccer team may not only lose 3 games in this World Cup but it may be like '98 when we don't even score a goal and everyone in the world giggles at us. This is the world's game and it would mean so much for us to be good. We are good at all the games we invented and the rest of the world is catching up (basketball, baseball). We need to catch up with soccer. We've got enough athletes that we should be able to compete. I am not inclined to think that we are poorly coached or that we don't have enough talent so I'm not sure what the deal is. I do know that we looked completely outclassed by a great team yesterday. The Czechs are one of the best 5 teams in the world in my opinion so no shame in losing but, at some point, if you wish to be considered a great team, you've got to do something against the world's best. I hope I'm wrong and we come out and do something magical against Italy...or Italy gets lost on the way to the stadium and has to forfeit...

I shall plug this further but next week, I am at the DC Improv with one of my favorite comics in the world, Adam Ferrara. Shows are going all week starting Tuesday and run through Sunday. Tuesday-Thursday shows are at 8:30, Friday and Saturday 2 shows at 8: 10:30, and Sunday at 8. He's amazing and I am also amazing but less amazing than he is.