I Got A Fever

And I am going to the doctor today. Not for a fever in fact but for something else. My big toes on both my feet hurt. I'm going to get them fixed. I have weird feet. I'm a little under 6 feet tall but have size 13 feet. I should be about 6'3" or so. Note: If I was that tall, I would be writing a blog about how cool it is to be playing in the major leagues. I have enormous big toes. If they were normal sized or more to scale, I'd probably have size 11.5 shoes. But they're not, they're freakishly big so I wear 13s.

When I was 13, my feet, shins, back, and knees were really bothering me during basketball season. I heard all sorts of things like, 'he's just growing', 'its common soreness', 'the white kid with the bowl cut shoots every time he touches it', 'you're kid just slapped my kid in the n*ts!' Everyone secretly thought I was just being kind of p*ssy; complaining about pain. Finally, I convinced my dad to take me to the doctor. Upon completion of his examination, he said: "there is absolutely nothing wrong with you."

Before I could protest, I caught a glance from my dad that said: "You little b*tch..."

Just then, the doctor says: "What sized shoes do you wear?"

Right before the season started we had gone and bought some sized 9.5 Dee Brown black Reebok pumps (that shoe was game tight. I don't care what anyone says. When he pumped them up at the dunk contest, I almost lactated).

"9 and a half," I replied.

"Let me measure your feet."

He measured my feet and they were sized 13. My foot had grown 3.5 shoe sizes in less than 6 weeks. My shoes were too small so I had to get new ones. Note: it broke my heart that we couldn't buy new Dee Brown's for half the season. We got A pair of sized 13 FILAs which were on sale. They looked like moon boots and people called them 'moon boots' (I looked, but I couldn't find an image for you).

It then occured to me that I was 13 and had sized 13 feet. I was still a small lad but was brimming with hope that I would one day be a big dude. I asked the doctor the following:

"If I have size 13 feet and am 13, how big do you think I'll get?"

Dr. Liar: "Well, looking at your chart...........My bet is that you'll end up about 6' 3" or 4"..."

(Me, making the same face that a 4 year old makes when he comes down stairs and he sees a bycicle on christmas morning and he thinks he is a big kid)

I have delusions at that point where I believe I will be able to play both baseball and basketball in college like my quasi-hero Rusty Larue who played 3 sports at Wake Forest. This led to me wasting hours and hours playing basketball...I'll grow any day now...Its gonna happen...

My boy Mike O'Connor pitches against the Phillies tonight. All Okie does is keep his team in the game and give them a chance to win. Knowledge http://washington.nationals.mlb.com/.