Chick Highlander

I have been sick this week. Sorry for the lack of posts to both my readers. I have to put some links up and I will do it soon I promise.

24 was mint last night. They just stuck with the tightness and didn't do the forced slowdown crap they have pulled recently. Badass dudes executing sh*t at a high level of planning and intelligence is what makes this show as entertaining as anything out there. Its like chess with chemical weapons and bad russian accents. I'm in 24. I'm all in.

When the one pinko-commie-red-bastard told the other pinko-commie-red-bastard, "you were followed. You know what to do", and the 2nd pinko-commie-red-bastard shot himself, we were right on track. I think Audrey Rains would make a great little league coach because she would have the best interests of the kids at heart...

I begrudingly tuned into the Bachelor following 24. The tightest honey on the show, Team Canada (just go down 4 posts if you want to read more. I don't feel like linking.) got bounced last week and I already knew Idiot (that's what I'm calling him. The chick who has that bachelor recap blog calls him Dr. McHottie. That's dumb. The dude used to have a ponytail and we all know how I feel about them...) was going to make another poor choice this week because he only had poor choices left.

Fact: Idiot is going to end up with the terrible southern girl from Nashvegas. She will sit atop some sort of high horse and use this disarming language to compare herself to the other women on the show and say: "I'm not like them". Oh, so you're not on a reality show to meet a guy? Oh you are... well you didn't get caught up in the hype and start taking about how he was perfect for you after knowing him for a week...Oh you did. Well I'm sure you don't accuse others of being fake when your entire existence is the most fake of anyone on the show according to the fake-ometer which is a fake instrument.

Smile when face to face, turn around say stuff like: "oh my gosh y'all what is her deal?" She can be as charming as anyone when she is out in public and knows all the right things to do or so at any occasion. She knows how to curtsey, ball room dance, and sow. She had a debutant ball and the whole town was invited. She can agree with anyone at anytime and make them feel special. All these things make her that much more dangerous. I give you, the fake southern girl. May God have mercy on your soul you Idiot.

For your guide to how to avoid such a female take the following steps:

1) Stay away from terrible southern dudes who are pretending to be gentlemen but are really hoping to hook up with such chicks

2) Stear clear of bars or clubs that feature live bands as it seems fsg's (fake southern girls) are drawn to such spots and this is what they mean when they say: 'y'all, we should go dancing...y'all'

3) If you act like a regular person, that is to say you do not actively flaunt your money and/or family name, they might just leave you alone. Remember, if you are older than 24, most of her peers are already married and the pressure mounts with each passing day.

Good luck.