What Kind Of Name Is Poon Anyway?

Larry Von Poon, of the East Rutherford Poons, put on an amazing show last night at Staccato Lounge. All of my best friends in comedy (except little mirth factory Justin Schlegel and female Irish Comic Erin Conroy) were in the house last night and we had an incredible time putting on a show that you would not normally see. Normally, I'm not nervous at all before shows, but I was scared to death last night. My job was to do Larry Poon. I did about 3 minutes of original material in the Poon character. It was a blast.

Later, the real Poon beat me in a dance off (note, in real life, I am a fantastic dancer. Seriously, see about me. There are top notch pro dancers who do it their entire lives and appear in Hip Hop videos and such. I am one notch below them; a top level amateur dancer. 90% of the time, when I walk into a room, I'm the best dancer in the room. The exceptions are when I go to very trendy clubs and there are small dudes that play 'dance dance revolution' and can do handstands and other filthy breakdancing moves from the late 80s that are making a comeback in the '06. Look for that shizzle).

The climax for me was Larry inviting me back onstage as we performed a duet of the song: "Move B*tch!". Snappy choreography and natural chemistry...

Got a call from Super Agent and Manager Nate Diamond telling me that Larry thanked me for being a part and that I'd be getting a fruit basket in the mail.

Weekend in Review:

It was a huge weekend for my buddy Jon and myself. Saturday night we engaged in a Nintendo 64 Mario Cart Tournament. Also in the Mario Cart Tournament, was clothing mogul and CFO of Kenton-Harrow, Lucas Moskowitz. Special thanks to Kenton Harrow for sponsoring the event. Great clothing, great style, great people: Kenton-Harrow: Semi-exclusive outfitter of FunnyDanny.

Is it bragging to say I won the tournament? It is? OK, I won't say it then. I am a video game juggernaut. My only real rivals in my lifetime are Pat Barry, who has lost his yearn for the craft and all but given it up and instead decided to hook up with girls, and my boy Bryan. Bryan is really amazing at video games. I have always thought he should enter tournaments and such. I think I'm a little better at sports games than he is, but he is way better than I am at action/adventure games. My style is to be thorough and meticulous so I don't miss anything and I remain cautious. It is my general philosophy that, with patience, in almost every video game situation, one is able to find a place where you can hit the enemy and he cannot hit you back. Well, Bryan does exactly what I do except he does it about twice as fast. Really instinctive. He finds all the items and is as thorough as I am but does it at twice the speed. Freshman year of college, when we first moved in, I had taken a month of regular play to beat the original Tomb Raider on Playstation (one of the best 15 games of all time by the way). Bryan beat it in 10 days and found everything that I found and a little more.

We teamed up and beat Final Fantasy VII (THE greatest video game of all time) and we literally got everything: all the ultimate weapons, all the limit breaks, all the side quests, beat both Ultimate Weapons (Emerald Weapon was one of the 25 greatest video game accomplishments in my personal history. It ranks two places below the first time I beat Tyson on Mike Tyson's Punch Out and woke my parents up with shouts of mirth and joy. It ranks one spot ahead of my personal discovery of the ability to get unlimited 1-ups in level 3-1 of Super Mario Brothers on the NES. I subsequently sent my discovery to Nintendo Power Magazine, which I read religiously. They wrote me a really nice note thanking me for my submission but that several people had beaten me to it and it would be featured in their following issue. I did finally crack the pages in September of 1989 when my neighbors submitted me as a power player and listed my accomplishments which at the time included finishing 2nd Quest of Zelda, Zelda II: the Adventure of Link, 999,950 points in T&C Surf Design, 9,999,950 points in Super Mario Brothers, finishing Metal Gear, finishing a season of Bases Loaded undefeated with every team except Boston who I refused to play with because I hated their #3 hitter Norkus, finishing Rygar (17th best game ever), Mike Tyson's Punch Out, Metroid, Castlevania, Castlevania II: Simon's Quest (#27 all time) Kid Icarus, Dragon Warrior, Adventures of Lolo, Legendary Wings, Wizards and Warriors, Ninja Gaiden, Double Dragon, a witnessed beating of the game Kung Fu 8 straight times, Legend of Kage, Pro Wrestling (I was only able to beat Great Puma once with King Slender. The key was knowing when to use the backbreaker. Too early, and you were done...), Mega Man I and II, and others.)

Here is IGN's list of the greatest video games of all time. They are a little biased towards newer games and arcade games and I disagree vehemently with some of their selections but its still a nice list:
http://top100.ign.com/2005/index.html

I will provide my list at a later time. It is definitive.

I will review Friday night and why there is a secret plot to destroy me tomorrow. The story involves an unbelievably aggressive bouncer, my own hypocracy and reconciliation of my own desires and insecurities, and meeting Martin Lawrence and making him giggle.

One.