My boy Ramsey and me both knew that there was no way it was Audrey Rains. If you watch 24, you know that the cool part of the show is that they will do anything. They'll kill off people you like and shock you. Tightness. Some believed that there was a possibility of some kind of conspiracy where Audrey Rains was involved. They may try and twist it back on at some point but I'd be furious at Fox if they did this. Ruining a honey in the pantheon is not a matter to be taken lightly. Audrey got tortured, washed her face, then came back onto the floor looking tight. Know why? That's what tight chicks do. Fact.
My boy Adam (aka the Bull) had a filthy theory as to why Jack had to believe Collette initially. I think this touches on a greater issue here. He wrote this after last week's episode. See his theory below:
"Dude, Collette is way hotter than Audrey, Jack had to take her word on it...I think the answer to the whole Audrey mess is going to be answered by whoÂ’s trying to kill CerranoÂ’s (President Palmer) brother, IÂ’m going with the VP, he has that Gorish look about him. I do, however, look forward to Jack torturing Audrey, because as you may know by now, I find torture amusing. I was hoping like hell that Jack would torture that random German, that wouldÂ’ve showed those Nazi f*cks. But my point is, after all of the rambling, Collette is hotter, therefore Jack had to believe her."
The Bull has touched on something here. Something bigger than all of us...bigger than 24. Dudes believe hot chicks. Further, there is also a formula for cleavage as it relates to amount a dude will believe. I wasn't able to find a pic of Collette's cleavage because I work in a government office but believe me, it was present last week. 'Psssst.....Jack...yeah...right down here...believe us Jack...believe us...'
My buddy Joe Vargas has this awesome joke about a girl getting pissed at him for looking at her cleavage and he responds: "well you're not wearing low-cut eye patches..."...Classic.
This phenomenon is one thing that does not change from high school. There was this girl who was honestly one of the best looking people I have ever seen in person. No joke. (Note: this was before she took the anorexic pill and developed a fake southern accent at Carolina. Double note: f-Carolina) She was so hot that she was allowed to be a terrible person. Its like everyone deep down really knew but no one would say it...now its out there. I don't fault her, not entirely anyway. You get away with what people let you get away with. I had a 2 year streak going of not talking to her and it was broken on September 22, 2005 when I was stuck at a table and she introduced me to her fiance. That's cool. Ignore me until you want to show off your condensed carbon on your hand. The dude, as expected, brought naught to the table. His family has money and its stunning that she would fall for someone like that. Please take note of the sarcasm in the previous sentence.
I still kick myself for breaking my streak. It was magical for a while. I'd be talking to someone, she would come up and start talking to that other person...I would talk to the person in the middle and not even say hello. She would only come by when she didn't know anybody else at the bar. I'll never forget when the streak started. She had a party at her apartment and I was convinced to go with the promise of other tight honies. I will never forget the disappointment on her face when I walked in. She didn't introduce me to anyone. Only a week before, we had been 'bfffffffs' when she didn't see anyone else at a bar. It was liberating really.
Oh yeah, congratulations...sorry that none of your friends from high school keep in touch with you. You're right and they're all wrong...
Miami filth continued tomorrow.
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