Part II: She May Not Like You, But You Met...

Sorry this is delayed but other things were happening...

Fri night, my boy Jon and I went to one of the top 37 Preppy People events in the world. Good times. We rolled to my girl Melissa's place for some pre-gaming. Lot of mirth there. None of the dudes liked me but I am not concerned by this...

As a side, my homegirl Melissa is a sick party planner. One day, she will plan parties and people will go to them. "Babs' Party Planners". Look for it late '06.

We all rolled to Spank, which is the VIP area above 1223. I am unable to say this and look at myself in the mirror at the same time. When I do, I involuntarily strike myself in the face.

Regardless, it was a fun time. We arrived fairly early but the place eventually became uber-crowded. We were hanging out in what turned out to be the VIP area of the VIP floor. No idea when I went up there to sit down when there was no one in the place.

At about 11, I went to get a beer at the bar. When I came back, there was a bouncer blocking the path to the little area. He was yelling at some dude about something. Trying to return to my seat, I started to go around him. He threw a forearm in my chest and goes: "Step down!"

Me: "Oh sorry man. I was just going back to my seat...and I thought"

Complete Dickhead (CD): "Just get down!"

Me: "I'm just sitting right there at that table (pointing to a table that is 6 feet from us)..."

CD: "Dude! Let me do my job!"

Me: "OK, sorry man. I didn't know what the rules were...is it cool if i just go back to wear I was sitting?"

CD: (Ignoring me and pretending to look around)

Me: "Hey man, is it cool if..."

CD: "What is your problem man!??! Shut the f*ck up for a minute!"

Me: "OK."

Both standing there awkwardly for several seconds....a minute...2 minutes...he pretends to look around again to give an evaluation of the area...he has completed his assessment...I am standing awkwardly looking at the group of girls and Jon that I am hanging out with...they are confused...A group of super tan dudes and some middle-eastern guys approach the bouncer...

CD: "Whatup dog? (shake-to-hug move on the lead guy)"

Lead guy: "Hey is it cool? (motions to sh*t eating dudes)"

CD: "Go right ahead."

They all go past me but there isn't enough room so I rub against 5 dudes...more perplexed looks from my group...I stare at the bouncer who is looking around trying to avoid my 'are you kidding me jackass?' look...another minute passes...

Me: "Hey man, is it cool if I just go right there (pointing to all my friends who are staring at me)?"

CD: (Motions to one of the girls) "Yo, this guy with you?"

Girl: "Ummmm, yeah."

CD: "All right bro, its cool."

Me: "Thanks"

Why did I thank him? I bet he's the type of dude that hangs out at the gym for too long with a sport bottle and offers to give everyone spots. Dick.

I am chilling with Jon on the couch watching various spectacles unfold. He says to me: 'Hey, who is that? (couch next to us has three black dudes sitting there. one is huge, the other is ordering champagne and the guy in the middle has a hat pulled down low and looks like he's trying not get noticed). '

I try and get a look, thinking that it might be an athlete or something. I don't recognize him. 2 minutes later, Jon goes: 'f*cking Martin Lawrence man'.

Of course Martin Lawrence was there...of course he was.

I don't want to come off as desperate, so Jon goes and talks to the big dude:

Jon: "Hey man, my boy is a comedian in DC and he'd love to talk to Martin."

BBD (Big black dude): 'Nah man, we ain't talkin business tonight'

Jon: 'No man, my boy just wants to meet him. He's a comic and he looks up to Martin."

BBD: "Oh, aaiiiggghhht. Bring him over man."

Jon then asks Martin if its cool and BBD interrupts: 'I said it was cool man!'

I shake Martin's hand and ask him what he's up to. He said something I couldn't here and I told him: "That's awesome man".

ML: "How long you been doing comedy man?"

Me: "A couple years now. I just got into NACA so hopefully I can get some college work"

ML: "Oh yeah? That's good man. Just keep doing it you know?"

Me: "Thanks man. Just wanted to tell you that you're someone I really look up to. A DC comic that really made it big (He's not originally from DC but he was here for a long time and did a lot here)."

ML: "Thanks man. I appreciate it..."

Me: "And I'm a big fan of people that do characters, because I do some of that...so I always bring people to see what you do (1st class A$$ kissing. Thanks...)"

ML: "aaaiiggghhht man, I feel you..."

Me: "And so, because I feel like you have given me so much, I feel like I should give something back...I know pretty much ever white girl in here (the entire place was filled with white girls)...so I can hook it up if you want..."

3 second pause...

ML: Laughs, his boys laugh, he shakes my hand... "aaiiiiight yo..."

The point? She may have not been interested in me, but she didn't make Martin Lawrence laugh. I did. So I win.