Welcome Internet.com Traveler

Below you will find the following elements: mirth, joy, humor, mockery, insinuation, sport, politics, comedy, rants, awkwardness, opinions, communacable disease, self-promotion, and lingo. Enjoy.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Video Clip

Hey friends and others who are here now, nothing posted for a while.  Here is something!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

This week

Some stuff coming up this week:

-I'm closing out the show at Ri-Ra this Wednesday in Arlington.  Never been, should be fun.  Show starts at 8.

-I'm closing out the show at the Topaz Bar in Dupont.  Been lots of times, should be fun.

-I'm featuring at Magooby's Joke House this weekend in Baltimore with Richie Byrne.  These shows should be a great time.  2 shows on Friday and Saturday at 8 and 10:15.  That's PM.

-I'll be on the morning show on 98 Rock on Thursday morning.  Listen live.

I tried to solve a rubik's cube for 4 hours last night.  Totally unsuccessful.

Come see me this week!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Little Big Guy

This Saturday the 18th of October, my buddy JL Cauvin is putting on a really cool show.  I'm on it which does not help the coolness I guess, but it's still happening.

The venue is the Triad Theater which is a great space for a show.  It's at 158 W 72nd Street.  Show starts at 9.  You've got to make reservations because it will sell out.

Tix are $15 and you'll buy some adult sodas.  Should be a great time.

Check out the trailer for the show here at: www.jlcauvin.com.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Comedy Sucks

This is why people quit comedy.  You do shows which you hope let you do shows that you want and the whole thing was for nothing.  I know that didn't make sense.  

The point is, you keep putting these irons in the fire in hopes that something good will get created.  It really takes it's toll when you all you pull out is another piece of scrap metal time an time again.  You see other people making it and it breaks your heart.  Not because you don't want success for them, but because you know you deserve it too.  It's heartbreaking because it takes so much out of you and of the people around you.  You sacrifice and make them sacrifice too.  For what?  It's hard to see when you go through a lot and feel like you are right back where you started.  You can remember the good shows and that's what keeps you going.  You know you can do it and that, is literally the only thing to keep you going.  If you stunk, and couldn't crush ever, you wouldn't want this as bad.  Deep down you'd know that you don't deserve it.  But you do and here you are, wondering what the point is.

After the show I had tonight, I am having a really tough figuring it out.  The uncertainty makes me remember all horrendous times I've experienced since I started doing comedy.  They compound themselves in my mind like an avalanche of negativity.  Getting passed over, time and again is a slap in the face of some harsh reality.  Hope can only get you so far.  Eventually, you realize that NO ONE has your interests in mind.  Not ever.  That's as discouraging as anything else.

I'm not walking away just yet.  At the end of the day, week, month, or year I have to be able to look in the mirror and ask myself: 'did I do everything I possibly could to make it?'  I haven't yet.  I'm closer than I was before, but not yet.

Let me close by saying: F&*^@*(!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Shows Up and You Shows Up

I've got a show this Saturday at the Laugh Lounge.  It's a cool club in the LES.  It's an early show and should be a lot of fun.  A bunch of guys are getting looked at by the club so hopefully it's an opportunity for me to work a little bit.


151 Essex Street (between Rivington and Stanton)
6:30 PM
$12 tix

Let me know if you want to come.

I'm trying to get to writing more often again.  (sounds of applause... dwindling...and gone)

Tuesday, September 30, 2008


Who wins in a fight?

2 Jonas brothers vs John Mayer?

AC Slater from the wrestling episode on Saved By the Bell vs Chris Griffin in the Family Guy when he wrestles the imaginary bear?

Jennifer Aniston from the time she was on Mad TV vs. Courtney Cox from Masters of the Universe?

Monday, September 29, 2008

Paris: The City of Light Windy Apples

I just spent a week in Paris, France not Texas.  It was an amazing trip.  I'm broke now (not an update) but it was worth it.  There are so many incredible sights in this city and it's pretty easy to get around.  

Here are the differences between Paris and New York City.  Yes, this is definitive.

-The Subway system is incredible in Paris.  NYC Subway is good but doesn't hold a candle to Paris.  Here's why:

In Paris, the train comes every 4 minutes.  Literally.  Every line, always.  Every 4 minutes.

In NYC, it's easy to get uptown/downtown but getting east/west is often a pain in the an-us.  In Paris, the system is like a spiderweb with stations constantly intersecting.

-Everything is older in Paris.  You can walk by a neighborhood church, poke your head in, and see that it was built in 1648.  Pretty neat.

-They show American shows in Paris and their original tv programming is atrocious.  For episodes of Law & also Order, the add stuff like this: "How do you say...le.....BUM BUM".  Note: this is not true.

-The reputation for Parisians being rude is largely unfounded.  However, there are some times when you are astounded.  Examples:

1) We went to sit down and have a coffee.  There were 14 tables open.  We sat at one.  The waitress eventually comes over and asked us: "Etes-vous ici pour les dejeuner?"  Which means: 'Are you here for lunch?'

We said (in broken French): 'non. soulement pour cafe.'  Which is : 'no. Only for coffee'

The waitress then went on a tirade which we eventually realized was about the fact that we were not allowed to sit where we were sitting, with 13 other open tables, if we were only going to drink coffee.  We were made to move 6 feet to a different table that was not differently marked in any way.  There were no signs indicating this policy and no way of knowing which tables would cause someone to chastise paying customers because of their seating choices.

2) We were looking for a train station called the RER.  We asked a local: 'Ou est le RER station?'  He looked puzzled.  We each took turns trying to say: 'RER' with our best fraccent.  He continued to not understand.  Then finally, he shook his finger at us and said: 'oh...RER (in a fake American doing French accent)...non...'

Then he over-exaggerated the Frenounciation: 'est. EH-RRR-AAA-EH-RRR'.  He then pointed across the street no more than 150 feet from where we were standing.  Really dude?

Still, phenomenal trip.

I'm still really pissed at the bailout.  The thing I think that not enough people are saying (not enough people that can influence the decision anyway) is that the reason this call is being made is because our leaders are scared to tell Americans that we have to change the way we live.  From the top down, over the last 30 years, we've been living over our means.  We've borrowed and spent and borrowed some more.  This isn't just Wall Street, it's everyone.  It's the developers that continued to throw up McMansions, it's banks that frivolously lending, and people borrowing more than they could pay back, it's universities inflating tuition forcing people to borrow some more, it's US car companies refusing to plan for a future, but most of all, it's a lack of willingness to change our life styles.  God forbid anyone (meaning a politician) points the finger at us and says: 'you are living irresponsibly.  And it's time for a change.  We'll all be better off in the long run if you make a few sacrifices now.'  

This can't happen in today's climate.  One thing liberals and conservatives have in common these days is a place to put blame.  Each side has a boogeyman it can point to and say: 'Here's why we're fooked'.  Gone are the days of 'ask not what your country can do for you.'  We'll sit here now as this enormous band aid gets syphoned out of our pockets and pat ourselves on the head and tell ourselves that everything is OK now.  Well it isn't.  In years past, liberals would always want to blame the system for the failings of individuals and conservatives would always choose to blame the individuals, well, right now both sides would be right.