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The B*tch Is Back

She never left I guess. In fact, she won't leave. I hate her. God I hate her so much. I'm not saying her name because I don't want the google ads on the page to appear so that anyone reading will be tempted to go to her dumb website. I will just say that her name ryhmes with Shmillary Flinton and she should be taken to a far away location.

I try to be a pretty understanding guy; meaning, I always like to argue 'the devil's advocate' position or attempt to identify with an opposing viewpoint (as a side, I know I'm stubborn/obstinate/obtuse, I'm just saying that even in my convictions, I can often understand where the counters are...even if they are wrong and my beliefs empirically correct). That said, I literally cannot see how someone can support this woman. Shmillary tops herself every week. This information isn't just for insiders, it's available to the public.

Take the Michigan/Florida gong shows for example.

Both states were upset that the initial primary states (New Hampshire/Iowa/South Carolina) had too much influence. They wanted their states to be in the national conversation. This is a valid concern. It is. Because the 1st states have to be first, we now start our primary season in January. Absurd. It takes way too long. And why should these select states have this arbitrary huge influence while states like Michigan and FLA are afterthoughts? This is a great debate. Just not for right now.

The Democratic Party (via the DNC) of which Shmillary Flinton said again last night that she is 'COMMITTED' to, voted to strip MI and FL of their delegate votes if they moved up their primaries. The states did so the DNC did what they said they would do. All the candidates involved in the primary who are able to gain a platform because of the Democratic party agreed to remove their names from the ballot...except for that absolute snake Shmillary Flinton who in her black and evil heart knew that she might be able to twist the crusade of each state that has a legitimate beef with the current system into some kind of leverage for her campaign to suck all the life out of the universe. So there we were, sighting flighty stats like exit polls and 'voter intent', Shmillary's people are asking for the rules to be changed after the game ended. Amazing.

I bet you want an analogy to elucidate this. Well giddyup.

A major league baseball game is played. The visiting team loses 5-4. The visiting team, after the game is over files a protest with major league baseball, not that the home team cheated mind you but something to the effect of 'the distance of 90 feet between the bases is arbitrary. Why not 89 ft or 95 ft?' Then, the visiting team wanted the base hits they got in batting practice to count for their final result in the game. No one else was on the field but those were good hits!!!!

I am still in shock that there was a compromise. Counting half the delegates was such a cop-out. It was just a way to say: 'Look Shmillary, we gave you something' because they knew she would still ultimately lose....or would she?

She still can't say it. She asked for $ last night. She is trying to decide how to angle for the VP nomination or to run as an independent after using the Democratic party for the last several years. She repeats her '18 million votes' total every chance she gets. If she is the VP nominee, I will not vote for Obama. Period. She needs to go away...like to hell where they have lots of sniper fire and pandering. I f*cking hate her more than I hate social injustice, fear, excessive heat and when girls respond to game from terrible dudes named 'Wynn' or 'Yardley'.

GO AWAY!

PS. In case you wondering who the picture is of, it's how I picture Shmillary Flinton. It's an immortal inherently evil being named Morgoth for Middle Earth. Sauron was a captain in his army as Morgoth ruled the free peoples of Middle Earth in the darkest age in the history of the world. I used this photo because I couldn't find one of 'Ungoliant' the wicked giant spider that spins darkness from her foul womb to cover the world in sadness.

Wednesday of '05

I was trying to think of something to write about today and decided to go over some old blogs for inspiration. I came across this piece and had an amazing time recalling the event that inspired it:

Its from September of '05:

Mexican Restaurants and Dremos

Stunning. That is the only word I can think of to describe the show I did Sunday night. I did a Christian Comedy night at a Mexican restaurant in Germantown. I could not make that up. There was gospel music playing before the show started and the intro I had to memorize for the headliner went just like this: "Here she is, all the way from Springfield, VA. She's here to bless you. Please put your hands together and praise the lord... ____________ (her name)"

She then sang some gospel music and the people loved it. No one in the place liked my jokes. The very nice lady who put the show together promised the crowd that none of the comics would make fun of the audience. After my jokes drew zero laughs, I resorted to making fun of the audience. There was a freshman in high school there and I gave him the tools to be the most popular kid in class for at least one day. His dad was cool and laughed at the appropriate times so he really stood out.

I called out one guy because he wouldn't clap and made it so awkward that he had no choice but to clap. I won. One of the comics ate a piece of chicken on stage and then did hurricane jokes. I will recommend him to the Boston Comedy Festival. Zing! It still hurts goddamnit.

End old post.

This was shortly after I had been bounced right out of the Boston Comedy Festival in the 1st round. The chick that won on that show was just terrible. And yet...I went back the next year. Good call.

Back to the Christian show. I mean wow. I had totally forgotten about this. What an astounding event. This lady didn't really tell jokes. I don't really know how to describe it. Here's a loose recollection of something she might have said:

"y'all know when them boys is outside...them little boys outside just gettin' dirty...y'all know you be freakin' out...good lord have mercy praise his name you be freakin' out...you be in that house losin' yo' mind girl...'I know you ain't comin' in the house with mud on them shoes!' Lord have mercy bless his holy name..."

I wish I remembered her name so that you could look it up. I didn't want to put it in the original post because it might have gotten back to her but I think the statue of limitations is up on that fear. But, I forget things. And yes, as I've mentioned before, I have ADD. Take that anonymous poster that hates me.