The Adventures of The People

This is the most vague title I could think of.

One of the main reasons I moved to New York was the idea that the people here with me would be willing to create. What I mean is that I want to constantly produce content. Video, sketch, new standup etc. I have still found it hard even in a place with people who are like-minded. The tough thing is, everyone is busy. Even guys like Rory Scovel and me, who are without jobs, have a hard time getting together to do the things we like...and create comedy. That was a joke that implies we make seggs. We don't.

I'm going to film another segment for my Animal Planet show 'the A-List' next Wednesday. I could not be more thankful for this opportunity. Managers, if you're out there, manage me. Thanks.

Currently listening to some Guns 'N Roses on my computational device. Cival War. Sorry about that. We were robbed. That band could have done anything. Literally anything. They were perfect. If I could go back in time, I'd take lottery numbers with me. Then, I'd try to get close to GNR and set them straight. I would tell them they owe it to those of us that can't do what they do to keep going. D*cks. Then I'd go back to when the Redskins drafted Heath Shuler and not allow that by showing the picture I took of his real estate sign in Tennessee when he should have been in the prime of his career.

Obviously, I am a Redskins fan. This week has been really tough. It's an insult to the memory and legacy of someone to claim some kind of personal connection with him. The truth is this: as much as one can care for someone he has never met, I cared for Sean Taylor. I followed him at the U, hoped for his coming to DC, followed his development with great interest. The window of the media provided that for me. I never met him but I feel like I knew who he was. The actions of men are what define them. His actions were improving and he should be defined as a bright star that left us too soon. It makes me sick that his past issues are dragged up in the coverage.

Would that happen to a regular guy? 'Jim was killed and when he was in college he drank too much one night and puked in his roomate's pillow case. He also lied to his boss and went on a long weekend by calling in sick at job he didn't care about.' Obviously, the level of problems we're talking about are different (calling in sick vs putting a shotgun in a dude's mouth and beating him senseless) but that doesn't mean you drag them up.

I am going to the game this Sunday. I don't know why I feel compelled to do so, but I do. I have a special place in my memory for people that brought me joy. People can say what they want about Jordan, but I saw something transcendent. I wasn't the only one that went to the park after he switched hands in mid-air against the Lakers in the finals to see if I could do it on an 8 foot rim. Sean Taylor is one of those people. When he picked up that fumble against the eagles, who I loathe like athlete's foot, and returned it for a touchdown sending us to the playoffs, I was euphoric. It was a gift. He may not have addressed it to me, but I received it.

So, for what it's worth, and that's not much, I will miss Sean Taylor. A man I never met or talked with, a guy that I saw for 20 weeks a year on Sundays, a player that gave me joy to watch. I'll miss that feeling.

Dec 7 and 20 Minutes

That's when my TV show appears. It's cool to get to say that. My tv show. Hi there, which tv show is it?

Great question Phil. It's actually mine.

Phil: 'NEAT!'

Me: 'Quite'

I had an amazing time filming my segments for this show (called the A-List...set your tivo/dvr/vcr accordingly). It's a bit of a different mindset then doing standup. My comedy is, by its nature, verbose and awkward. This is not conducive for shows like this where quick clips are favored. They want you to get to the funny really quickly. I'm not a great '1 liner' kind of guy. So, this was actually a great challenge for me. The feedback I got was that most of my clips were too long to use. I totally understand that. Hopefully, enough of my stuff snuck through and I'll be all over this show.

One weird corollary to all this is that I've learned a remarkable amount about lots of animals recently. They handed the comics a fact sheet and you basically study that and write material based on the info. Want some examples?

-Bull Elephant Seal males are 4 times the size of the females. Males roll with harems of around 50 females. (Insert 'pimp' joke here for maximum humor)

-Koala bears sleep for 22 hours a day

-If an alligator's nest is under 88 degress, all the eggs will turn out female. If it's over 91, only males will be born

-The Red Knob Hornbill seals itself in a hollow tree by closing off the hole with its poop. It stays in there for 2 months while laying eggs and taking care of the babies.

-An octopus mom will literally never leave its eggs until they hatch. She lays 50,000 of them and will then literally eat her own arm so she doesn't starve to avoid leaving her eggs.

There's more, but you'll have to watch the show for other neat facts.


Last note, go to my website and check out the 1st podcast. The show is entitled: "20 minutes with Danny and Rory"

It's a good first show. We'll be doing more and getting better. Go to the media page of my site and click on the Show 1 on the audio list. Enjoy.

Animal Planet

I filmed segments for an upcoming show on Animal Planet. I'm really excited about it. I have no idea how much I'll be on, if I was funny, or if I'll ever be invited back. I had a blast filming it though. I've been told it will be premiering on Dec 7. More when I know more.

Some friends and I recently shot a really funny video. It's almost all edited. People will laugh. More on this when it's done...

I just realized I basically said: 'more information later' twice. More on why I did this later.

I'm from Washington, DC. The state of DC sports teams is a shabingus. I won't type any more because I'll just get angry. The goddammn plane has crashed into the mountain.

Standing Water

New York, and other major cities like it around the world, all have one thing in common. They are hubs of activity, culture, and wonder. Cities like Paris, Barcelona, and London are all places of incredible sights and structures. When you move to a city like this, you know that you could live there your entire life and not see everything the city has to offer. New discovery is possible every day. One thing no one tells you about?

Standing water. When it rains, when it snows, when certain things go awry in icky places...you get the still water. Still water sucks. It's always gross and you have to make awkward motions to get around it. Everyone to a man has experienced the fear of a moving vehicle passing too close to them over a body of water...the splash. Oh it's so beat. That 'water' is like eating a bowl of germs and then spitting it out onto your comfortable mesh pants that you bought at Target for 9.99.

No one ever mentions it. It's never talked about; but it should be. It sucks.

Not a lot of substance in this blog. Couple me items:

I'm at Carolines on Nov 20th. I'm really excited to perform at this club as it's definitely one of the marquee venues in the universe.

I also completed a humorous video shoot this past weekend. Look for that soon.

Also, tomorrow (we're recording tonight) I'll be on The Schachter Factor; a fun radio show run by my buddy Jeremy Schacter. You can listen at: www.jeremyradio.com

Last thing, I'm doing a pilot this week. More on this when it's done.

Holler.

Really?

Hillary Clinton in '08. With each passing day, we draw closer to this conclusion. This is it. My only question is: really? Throw partisan feelings aside. It is beyond argument that the country is overwhelmingly displeased with President Bush (approval rating hovering around 30%. I also realize that these are slightly subjective measures and not totally accurate but the point should still stand). Republicans, are rudderless. Those running for the nomination in '08 are split evenly on doing everything they can to distance themselves from Bush or running in line to get behind him.

Democrats swept into Congress during the mid-term elections with the momentum of stopping the war in Iraq (of course there were other issues but that's the one that will resonate through history). Nearly 2 years later, you would be hard pressed to find anyone outside the most hardcore democrat who would tell you that the Ds have made any significant progress on this front or capitalized on the momentum the mid-terms should have provided them. Still, With Bush still lagging and Republicans less popular than in recent years, this is a golden opportunity for Democrats to step up....

And we get Hillary. This is the best? This is the haymaker? The big counter-punch? I am stunned. Despite my misgivings about her husband, it's undeniable that he was a star. Where are the stars? The alternatives to HC all have their flaws. Everyone seems to like Obama for example, but his biggest knock seems to be that no one thinks he can win. It's sentiments like these that have led us to...'She has the best chance, so I'm going with it.'

Frustrating. I will save both my readers from a rant against the HC for prez bus; I feel like you all know why she shouldn't be president, or even a Senator, or even a person you hang out with and talk about how your new apartment is in a cool neighborhood at a cocktail party. This is more of a 'state of disbelief' blog from yours truly.

The only analogy I can come up with is a major network lagging in ratings. The network says they need one big show this fall to get people talking about their network again. The network gets together and discusses a number of people who are available. After much deliberation, at this critical junction in the history of tv.....they pick a new show for:

Jimmy Smits.


Conclusion:

Hillary Clinton is the Jimmy Smits of the Democratic Party.

Halloween Holler

My first Halloween in the Nuevo York has come and gone. Hallows Ever in my neighborhood is a gong show at the monkey section of a zoo. People go nuts.

Early in the evening, adults take their kids to restaurants and businesses for trick or treating. Totally new to me but it makes sense. You can't get into apartment buildings and knock on doors so you go to the local Equadorian spot in your Yu-Gi-Oh outfits and you get your loot. It's a good scene.

Once the children are in bed, the astounding behavior ensues. Everyone is out. All the people. All the crazy inhabitants that wait for months for this night to arrive. Costumes. Good ones, bad ones, terrifying ones. Terrifying because it takes a weird person to step into an outfit like that. Hipsters are dressed normally but they fit in on Halloween because everyone looks weird.

Eggs are thrown. Screaming. Boisterous shouts of nonsense. I woke up at 3 to a nice arrest in front of my apartment building. 5 dudes, face down on the street with cops standing over them. Sweet. Call back to those 1st few years of cops where it was pretty cool. 34 feet below me, I was riding along with Officer Shove'N'Stuff.

Halloween b*tches...

Launch Party

Last week, your funny danny blogger caught a free live show. These are the best kinds of shows, due to their free-ness and their value; and you know your humorist is all about value. One of the cool things about the newer version of old york is a thing that is new to me: Launch Parties. These elusive and wondrous spectacles are both curious and compelling. Unless one is in an industry where this sort of tomfoolery is commonplace (awkward high fashion where one does not eat for example), it's hard to know where/when/why /what the hell for these things occur. Let me break down the launch party:

-some company has a new product/idea/concept/person/design/statue
-said company hires another company
-company 2 gets a venue, spends company 1's $...lots of company 1's $
-Enormous amounts of random people miraculously hear about the event.
-Said people attend, eat food, drink adult beverages, and make merry and glance at whatever new product/idea/concept/person/design/statue company 1 is rolling out there

This is what is done. Whoever did this first is either an idiot or a genius. I vote genius. Otherwise, last Thursday, I wouldn't have had 481 Guinnesses and eaten small hot dogs.

I had a hookup with this one. It was a good hook up...like she ran the event. Would I, in a million years have had any idea about this shindig without the expressed written reminders of said hookup? Negatron. Bottom line: Someone else paid for me to get sauced and listen to a cool band...and I like that.