I Ruin Shows

Chris White and Friends was a lot of fun last night. I was terrible. I ruined the show. I was paired with Jeff Maurer and Marshall Henry in a kind of improv/stand up thing where we each told a joke based on what the last guy had told. They got laughs, I got silence and insecurity. I love Jeff Maurer's material. People who don't should be kicked. He has mastered something in a couple months that I still can't do after 2 years and that is write jokes. I realized it last night when all of his funny things destroyed and I ate yak as I lack punchlines and structure...and bring nothing but really good intentions and a need for approval. Bright future people, really bright. I'll see you at Rick's Diner in Mannassas in 2009 where I'll be featuring for the Van Halen Tribute Band 'Panama Jump' on there 'Pieces of Me' tour.

Larry Poon did his thing to close the show. Man do I love watching that. My favorite parts are the times when people don't get it and they are uncomfortable. This gives me joy. This also brings me to Poonanza. Sunday Feb 12 at Staccato Lounge. Some amazing alternative comedy and great times. Anyone who doesn't go will be banned from the cool kids table forever. More about that later.

Super Bowl this weekend. Really not excited. I want the Steelers to win because my boy Bryan is a Steelers fan and his mirth is good. I will watch the game because that is what you do and I will eat because that is also what you do but this match-up does not intrigue me for some reason. I am sick of the stories about Jerome Bettis coming home to Detroit and sick of the stories that are mocking those stories. I like Bettis because he seems like a genuine and nice dude but I really hate the double standard for athletes as they are portrayed by reporters.

Bettis has a ypc of under 4.0 for his career. He is not a good receiver out of the backfield and he gets tired in games because he is so heavy now. If most other players had fumbled the way he did against Indy, they never would have lived it down but Bettis is given a pass somehow because he is patient enough to answer inane questions after practices and games from strangers who want to bait him into saying something inflammatory. Some athletes don't relish this part of the job and I don't blame them.

The thing is, they are vilified if they don't. Sportswriters like my least favorite of all time, Peter King, write about how guys like Bettis are a 'reporter's dream' and they stop covering them objectively. So frustrating. Peter King will wax about how wonderful certain GMs are and vilify others when its clear the only ones he likes are the ones that always make time for his phone calls. He will talk about certain organizational models as the only way to win football games (New England and Philly. One will be watching the Super Bowl and the other can rot in hell as they finished last in the division) Case and point: Ernie Accorsi in New York.

They gave up like 1.5 drafts + Phillip Rivers to acquire Eli Manning who might end up being pretty good. But you know what? They could have stood pat, kept their picks, added more players to complement a flawed team that broke down at the end of this season, and either had Rivers or Ben Roethlesburger who they passed on when they needed a QB. Would they be better with Big Ben and a bunch more picks? Yup. But PK called it a 'gutsy' and 'shrewd' move. Idiots. I want a sports network with regular dudes who can say that moves like this are idiotic, with appropriate curse words.