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Below you will find the following elements: mirth, joy, humor, mockery, insinuation, sport, politics, comedy, rants, awkwardness, opinions, communacable disease, self-promotion, and lingo. Enjoy.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Spring Forward Sucks

Hey, remember that hour of sleep that you cherish above all else? Yeah, we're gonna take that. It happens every year. 1) I am always surprised when it happens. I never know when the time switch occurs. I always hear about it the day of in passing. 2) Easily one of the worst things about being alive is the loss of sleep when the clocks go forward.

Transition...

I am at the Richmond Funny Bone tonight. My boy Oddssey Michaels has put together a Monday show at the funny bizzle that should be hot like the inside of a microwave burrito after it has been microwaved on high and you ignore the instructions to let it cool and you take a bite and have to make that awkward sucking sound to get some air on your tongue because you burned it and the roof of your mouth feels awkward for a couple days...it will be like that. www.richmondfunnybone for details.

Transition...

The Saturday night show at the Bethesda Hyatt was super cool with high levels of awesomeness. Go to this show the next time they have it and then always go everytime after that. Its cool. I had a very good set on Sat. I was worried because...well because the crowd was old. Not like 32-33 like old, but like its awkward to try and guess an age because it could be over 60 like old. But, these old people? They were down with the pimpstyle. They also found me humorous. I have a new favorite category of person. Replacing the Asian teenager who works in the video game section of Best Buy/Target and is outstandingly knowledgeable about all video game topics and is thrilled to have someone who wants to tap into his knowledge, at the top of the new list: Old people with a good sense of humor that say unexpected and shocking things.

After the show, several people came up to me and said nice things. huge fan of this. The best was a couple that engaged me for a short time. The sweetest looking old lady came up to me and said the following:

"I thought you were so funny..."

Me: "Thank you. That's so nice of you to say..."

"I have a question for you. You used some word...what's a donkey-punch?"

(Its a quick tag in one of my jokes...)

Me: "............uh..... Well, I don't know if...uhhhhhhh......"

Then the dude speaks up: "I've heard of a couple of those...The Dirty Sanchez, tea-bagging..."

His wife laughs. I stare at them in disbelief...Completely flustered I say:

"Yeah...well...there's a lot of those terms out there..."

Lady: "They just put funny names on stuff that people do."

Me: "I don't know too many people that are rocking the donkey-punch on a regular basis..."

Lady: "That one didn't sound like much fun. Do you know any fun ones?"

These people are old. I am so uncomfortable at the thought of other old people doing deviance. Its like, if you can talk about the depression anecdotally, you are not allowed to know what a 'rusty trombone' or a 'Tonesian Pile Driver' or even a 'Portuguese Breakfast' is. That should be a rule. I'm cool with them knowing about the 'Angry Admiral' because that's not a generational thing...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's awesome. Funny old people.

Anonymous said...

Danny,
Don't ask me how I found your site, because you could possibly use it against me in a restraining order lawsuit. Absolute hilarious material. I read many of your blogs today at work and even had to forward some of them to friends and colleagues. I am glad to see you doing well. Will we, as your fans and audience, ever see items such as:

Clint Selles
Cassidy Smith
"Buddy I can't see.."
Chris Materese
Etc

in your blogs? You tell a lot of hilarious stories. Just wanted to know if those items were even a thought. Take care of yourself, and the next time I am in D.C., I will try to catch one of your shows.

All the best,

Scott Shirley from GWU Baseball Fame (actually not at all, but I am from the GW baseball team...)