Adams Morgan Filth

I went out with some honies and my boy Jon on Friday night. All the honies had boyfriends which is my new style...

The majority of the night was mirthful and not worth mention. What is worth mention is as follows:

On our way to get some late night pizza at Pizza Mart, we saw a spectacle. 2 white dudes and 2 latino dudes were sqauring off. The White Guy 1 (WG 1) and Latino Guy 1 (LG 1) were pushing and jawing and their boys were trying to separate them. WG 1 was doing the thing that a lot of white guys do when they get in this situation: they used phrases that they may have seen on BET, in an interview with a rapper, or in a movie where a minority gangster is portrayed:

WG 1 said things like: "yo, you ain't tryin' to see this" , "Step!", "Nah nah...it ain't even like that"

Really? Then tell me what it is like in Manassas you jackass.

LG 1 was no better. He was making the 'crazy, wide-eyed, the longer this goes on the more latino gangster I will become' face. He was doing that thing where he was sort of hopping aroung with his hands around his crotch repeating phrases over and over with increasingly high pitch as he went. He was completely unaware that he appeared foolish in the eyes of others.

A crowd began to gather the little dance. It looked like when those 2 dancers got together in the Michael Jackson 'Bad' video that aired after In Living Color on Fox but it lacked the snappy choreography.

LG 1 was holding a bottle of vodka that was 4/5 empty. I realized, after about 6 seconds that he was eventually going to throw this bottle at his opponent. I could tell by looking at the aforementioned face. Sure enough, after some more gesticulating and phrase repeating, LG 1 threw the bottle at WG 1. He missed by 5 feet and he was no more than 12 feet away. The bottle broke and some other Latinos were sprayed with glass shards. The fun was over as it now seemed someone would die soon and I swore to myself I would not be testifying at any mroe trials this year. As I walked past the other Latinos I said very loudly, "Are you guys OK, because that other guy threw a bottle?" Several onlookers laughed as it was very funny. Funnydanny.com bitches; next one ain't free.

Yadda yadda yadda I slept over at Jon's parents' house and we listened to Jerky Boys like we were in 7th grade. Friday nights in the city. Rollin' deep and reppin' it to the death.