Walking Pace

Before I begin, everyone who has a sense of humor should go this site and experience the joy of Family Guy quotations. Easily the funniest show created by humans and everyone who doesn't like it is wrong and should be hurried to middle America and dropped off in a corn field at night which is incidentally terrifying if you've never done it. Here is the site: http://www.familyguyquotes.com/

I get irritated at a lot of things in my life as do most people I suspect. There is one thing that gets to me pretty good: Slow Walkers. Nothing is more annoying than being behind one of those really slow paced walking people that walk in the middle of the hall so you can't go around them and you are doing a bob and weave behind them to keep from stepping on their heels. These are the same morons who are always complaining that 'everyone is always in such a hurry'. Of course we are you useless air breather, we have sh*t to do so that we can relax later. You are choosing to relax now. Fine. Go with that, just do it on the f*cking right side of the hallway so I can get around.

These are the same people that get to the front of the line at a fast food place and have no idea what they want yet. "So what do you all have? A dollar menu? You mean it only costs a dollar? This puts a whole new element to the ordering process. You put that menu off to the side there...So now what comes in a combo? The drink is a medium well I only want a small can I just have that? OK well give me the fries and a small drink... How can that be more expensive? I guess just give me the medium then. $5.43? I think I have 43 cents hold on...nope I don't...oh wait...no its a Canadian nickel...Where did I get that?"

I have said it before, but I wish I had blow darts and a blow dart shooting device for times like those.

Go to the Baltimore Comedy Factory tonight and tomorrow night. My boys Justin Schlegel (headlining) and Jon Mumma (featuring) are going to scald the mic and leave craters where there jokes crushed. www.baltimorecomedy.com