We Need to Have a Talk About Your TPS Reports

What is more depressing than being in your office when everyone else is on vacation? Besides being in Russia during the mid afternoon when everything is gray and you remember that the KGB can see you right now...

Have you ever met a girl that seems pretty great and then met someone she has dated and been so shocked that you think about taking your eyes out and holding them in front of you so you can see the disbelief on your own face? Happened to me recently.

I met a really cute, fun, and sweet girl who has gotten glowing recommendations from trusted sources. She seems great. Subsequently I met an X/currently awkward/so what are we right now? dude. Stunning.

Here is the breakdown:

3 types of dudes:

Regular dudes: nothing wrong with these guys. They are fine. Nice guys that go to work and maybe have a couple of extra curriculars. They go out on weekends and they do what they are supposed to do. Girls often seem drawn to these guys (especially southern girls) which is fine but they are just OK. Nothing wrong with them but not special enough to leave a mark when they go.

Tight dudes: this type of dude brings something extra to the table. has all the good qualities of the regular dudes plus something extra. The kind of guy that you can know for years and still find out interesting stuff about. Always smart, funny, and he enriches the lives of the people he meets. He is outside the box but can walk inside when he feels like it. Quality girls are drawn to these dudes but the regular to subpar honies always miss it.

Poo-Eaters: The worst. Devoid of good qualities. Can be socially inept, awkward, painful to be around, cruel, think they are more important than they are or any combination from above. They are the type of dude that when that guy leaves the room everyone immediately says things like: "Are you f*cking kidding me?", "Is he serious?", "Oh my God", and so forth. Terrible dudes not only don't bring anything of value to the table, but they take away. They are sponges, fun-suckers, and mirth-takers. They never seem to get it. They'll insult you before they know you and think its funny.

Well folks, the 'boyfriend' was one of this last group. Upsetting.

Ladies, funnydanny puts out the call to you. Do not let your friends continue to make excuses for a terrible dude's behavior anymore. She must leave him. Leave him while there is still time. Read these testimonials if you don't believe me"

S.J. from North Carolina writes: "Roos, my old bf made everyone feel weird but my new bf is a tight dude. Thanks!"

S.T. from Atlanta writes: "My old bf was OK I guess, but he's nothing compared with the super tight dude I have now! Thanks FunnyDanny!"

L.J. from DC writes: 'Leave me alone. Stop writing me. I will call the police."

I beg you ladies, if you need help evaluating a dude, any of our professionally trained funnydanny staff is available on call. My colleagues and I are ready to rate your dude as we have only tight dudes on the payroll.